🪳
Cockroaches
Will survive the apocalypse. Will not survive Tuesday afternoon with Blum.
Most popular
Backpack charged & ready
Your bugs have had a good run.
Blum's Pest Control. Licensed, insured, and honestly a little too excited about this.
Serving your whole town and, if the van starts, the next one over.
Employee of the Month(every month — he's the only employee)
Smile: 100% genuineHe really loves this job.
0roaches sent to a farm upstate
0five-star reviews from bugs
1employee (see above)
97%of the backpack still works
The situation
Right now, in your kitchen, this is happening.
You went to bed. They did not. They've got a DJ. They've got a disco ball. They've got your cereal.
LIVE
Services
If it crawls, flies, or chews, Blum has a plan.
The plan is usually the backpack.
🐜
Ants
They came for your picnic. We came for them. Every last tiny one.
Picnic restoration🐭
Mice
Eviction services. Firm but fair. We let them pack a bag.
Humane-ish🦝
Raccoons
Trash bandits brought to justice. Masks confiscated at the door.
Law & order🕷️
Spiders
You stand on the chair. We'll handle it. No judgment. Some judgment.
Chair included🐝
Wasps
The only pest Blum is slightly afraid of. He goes anyway. Hero.
Hazard pay🛏️
Bed Bugs
"Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite" — finally, a real plan.
Sleep guaranteed👻
Ghosts
No. Different company. Please stop calling about the library.
Not available
Case files
Recently closed cases.
Every job gets a file. Some of them get a mugshot.
The Pizza Bandit
- Charges
- 14 counts of trash-can tipping, 1 count of grand theft pepperoni
- Height
- 2'4" (claims 2'6")
- Remorse
- None detected
Apprehended on a back porch, mid-slice. Relocated to a lovely forest far from any Domino's.
CASE CLOSED
Mr. M. Mouse
- Tenancy
- 4 months, rent-free, behind the stove
- Offense
- Ate the corner off every single cracker
- Status
- Moved out. Very dramatically.
Given 24 hours' notice and a granola bar for the road. The single tear was a nice touch.
EVICTED
How it works
Four steps. One of them is screaming.
You call
Ideally while standing on furniture. It helps us gauge urgency.
Blum suits up
Jumpsuit, gloves, backpack. Takes 40 seconds. He's timed it. A lot.
Bugs reconsider
Their life choices, their address, and their whole deal, really.
You get your house back
Plus a high five. The high five is mandatory.
Reviews
What people (and pests) are saying.
We publish every review. Even the bitter ones.
★★★★★
"Showed up uninvited. Ruined a perfectly good party. Didn't even stay for the DJ set. Zero stars if I could."— A Cockroach (formerly of 412 Elm St.)
★★★★★
"Called at 6. He was here by 6:20, already smiling. Still smiling when he left. I don't know why he was smiling. My kitchen is spotless."— Deb K., satisfied (slightly unsettled) customer
★★★★★
"I had a SUITCASE packed and everything and he still made me leave. Do you know what the rental market is like for mice right now?"— M. Mouse, now living in a shed
Our fleet
Meet the fleet. (It's one van.)
- Since 1972. The van, not Blum.
- Red siren light is purely decorative and legally can't be turned on.
- Top speed: "enough."
- If you see it parked on your street, the bugs already know.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions.
Is the backpack safe?
It is safe for you, your kids, and your pets. Blum's eyebrows have a more complicated relationship with it, but they grew back.
Do you do ghosts?
We understand the confusion. The jumpsuit, the backpack, the energy. But no. We do bugs. If something in your attic is moaning, it's probably a raccoon, and we do do raccoons.
Why is he smiling like that?
He genuinely loves this job. We've looked into it. There's no other explanation.
Can I watch?
Yes. Blum will narrate the whole thing like a nature documentary whether you watch or not.
What if the bugs come back?
Then Blum comes back, for free, and he'll be even more excited the second time. You've been warned.
Get help
Something crawling in your neighborhood?
You know who to call.
(555) 789-0123Open 7 days a week. Emergencies 24/7. Blum doesn't really sleep. Probably the fumes.